5 Things They Don't Tell You About Dating A Medical Resident, I Love You: 15 Ways Guys Say It Without Saying It. Andrea Zimmerman. And let us not even discuss the tragedy known as "nightshift," a cruel two-week period where the amount of time I see the Bear amounts to the brief minutes we share a bathroom, brushing our teeth – him, before bedtime, me, just having woken. Absolutely. However, it can also be incredibly rewarding if your relationship can come out on the other side. It's not because he doesn't love you and isn't interested, it's because he is so physically and emotionally drained that he needs time to decompress. What would you like more of, though? I was always hesitant in bringing up issues, or suggesting things that I knew would be difficult for Surgeon to do. Love. Or get a cat. I would really like to know how you and your husband were able to work through the stress and emotional burdens. Your needs & wants, both physical and emotional, take a backseat to the patient(s) the majority of the time. But still, learn from us and spread those two week vacas out or those hospital stretches are going to feel like for-ev-er. Even then, there were people asking me if I hired someone to mess with them, heh. Tip #1: Be Flexible – Dates can and SHOULD happen anywhere. My suggestion: Always have a Plan B or start enjoying meals by yourself – I swear, sushi tastes better with a good book! You're ridin' solo now, my friend, because at 7:58, a patient in the ICU crashed and he'll be there for at least two more hours doing paperwork. Tip #8: 99% of Bad Moods/Days are NOT About You – This was really a hard one to learn for me… I tend to take a person’s mood around me as a reflection of what they feel about me. Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. and I read myriad first-hand accounts (this book and this book are good, if you're interested), I don't think I fully understood just what dating a first-year resident really, truly, actually entailed until that first morning his alarm went off at 5 am and I blearily watched him don his scrubs, grab his coffee, peck me on the cheek, and go. Editor At Large. Once, he had to leave me mid-ordering a meal during my birthday dinner. Here are 5 tips on surviving the relationship struggle: 1. I am currently dating a surgeon resident and have found this article to be extremely helpful. Better yet, you haven’t heard from your person all day? If you know he isn’t going to make it to the movies as you planned, go yourself. Dating is pretty daunting. But I digress. Thanks for your post is extremely helpful sometimes I desperate and get disappointed very easy. Dating a doctor in residency means long shifts, stress and exhaustion, and it takes a strong relationship to weather this time in a young doctor’s career. I smiled and watched him until he got it right, because to watch someone you love do something they love? YourTango may earn an affiliate commission if you buy something through links featured in this article. You'll have more time than you know what to do with. Thank you for posting. Please keep posting, I’ll be reading and enjoying all of your sage wisdom! Did that mean Surgeon NEVER cooked for me or NEVER did dishes? Surgeon used to live 45 mins away, an hour if traffic was bad… it was really hard, but we mitually were okay with spending the weekend at each others place. I am still learning things, but just in case you’re texting that really awesome, sexy doctor online (yes, gentlemen, I am talking to YOU too), there are some things worth knowing. 5 Things They Don't Tell You About Dating A Medical Resident. Reading your post gave me so much hope that we can still make it work despite all the challenges that will come. Wow – this was SO helpful to read. I went to all my friends’ weddings during Surgeon’s residency without him. That’s the most important thing to understand. Be kind and helpful to your intern and resident colleagues, even some that you may not particularly like. I think it helps pinpointing what you need (we ALL need things) and then relaying it to your partner. Among his insights are four tips: Set realistic expectations about your time and finances. Oh, you had dinner plans at 8 at that brand new Mexican place? Surgeon didn’t get to eat again for a whole night and day. I've learned – okay, I'm still learning – not to hound him the moment he walks in the door. I don’t know these things personally – I am not a medical student. I mean, yes, it is. 5 tips to medical resident success. Inspired by the wonderful and talented Single With Scalpel‘s guest post on the equally savvy and fabulous Sassy‘s blog, here’s a handy list to keep around. But it is also the season of ERAS with all of its letters of recommendation, USMLE scores, medical school transcripts, and personal statements. Thank you so much for this! Tip #9: Learn How to PROUDLY make Excuses for their Absence – All my friends knew I had been dating, but no one believed me until I finally posted up our wedding photos on FB. The advice is super helpful and it’s always nice (and reassuring) to see other successful medical/non-medical relationships. But my boyfriend is. Lisa Sieczkowski, MD | Education | October 10, 2018. Surgeon worked 100+ hours for many weeks, and with 4 days off a month, it wasn’t easy getting a “weekend away.” Realize this and really appreciate that they want to spend that little time off with you, instead of, you know, SLEEPING.